Saturday, August 29, 2009

Post Preggo Bliss

You've just had a baby; you feel a sense of euphoria, you love the way it has changed you and you have accepted your new body and well life is just perfect! .....yeah right! Like Megan mentioned in a comment before, the period after you have a baby isn't really talked about and guess what, it's hard and it just plain sucks sometimes! So I want to talk about it! :) I think there is this idea out there that once your baby is here, everything is supposed to be wonderful, and why wouldn't it be? You have a sweet, innocent bundle of joy that many people, who maybe aren't as lucky, envy you for. Babies are a great blessing but there's a little bad mixed in with all that good. Plus everyone is always telling you to enjoy these times because they grow so fast, which is true, but that doesn't mean it is all smiles and giggles. There's a lot of poo, pee and spit up to deal with, let alone feeling like you're completely crazy because your emotions are worse than when you were pregnant, you might have a hard time breast feeding or choose not to and there's guilt with that because BREAST FEEDING IS BEST and then every time you turn around you feel like someone is JUDGING your parenting skills and evaluating what kind of a parent you will be. Oh and you've just realized those 30 to 60 pounds you've gained WASN'T all baby weight! You can't fit into any clothes, you feel too young to be a mom and even if you can find something to wear to go out and maybe even get a babysitter, well you just might not want to, either you're too tired or you just plain feel DEPRESSED and want to sit at home and do NOTHING (where's the spontanaeity?). Yes, I said DEPRESSED! Even if you don't have to deal with full on post-partum depression, I think every woman feels parts of it after having a baby. It could just be because youre down because you're frustrated or all of the hormones; nothing you do makes you feel any better and you find yourself staring at a blank wall for who knows how long and getting extremely frustrated every time your sweet baby cries or fusses. You're supposed to be this super mom you've always imagined right? But really most days you don't even want to get dressed, let alone shower... (or work on losing all that baby weight). Most of this has nothing to do with your baby, yes they can be frustrating sometimes, especially if you have a fussy baby but most of it is because you had the baby and even though the best thing you'll ever have came out of that and yeah it's WORTH IT, it's hard and it takes a while to feel normal and like yourself again. Also, I don't think I have gained back the 15% of brain cells I lost when I was pregnant... When does that come back? Or does it...?

A few weeks ago I felt like I had no girlfriends and that they were all just so different from me and I think part of me really wanted someone to talk to about it all because it's kind of a shock. But this last little bit I've realized how many AWESOME girlfriends I do have and how many are going through the same thing! I realized that I had isolated myself a little by not making an effort and so I started making more of an effort but mostly I just plain got lucky and have been able to hang out with many of them lately. I don't have 1 group where we always hangout and do everything together, I have a lot of different girlfriends; single, married, pregnant, married with kids, etc. and they all are great for different things. Some of them I talk to on a regular basis, some I don't see for years at a time, some I see once a year, some I only see at group gatherings, but I can talk to all of them and it's never awkward, I love it! Anyways, so lately I have talked to some of them who have had kids recently about different things and was so glad to know they had some of the exact same feelings and struggles! So thanks for listening, sorry I'm a little crazy! ;)

Oh and guess what, I was looking for an image that could maybe back up my theory here, I googled a few different mom and post pregnancy things and they are all showing off the euphoric feeling I talked about... What's so scary about being honest?

11 comments:

Kristin said...

I am starting to think, from reading maybe I shouldn't have kids :) However I want to experience it too....and I don't know anything about being a mom, so all I can say is hang in there girl!! Your a super cute MOMMY!

Reid, Megan and Jackson said...

You know my stance on all of this. I am your regular pessimist so just leave it to me to shed some light on these less than appealing aspects of motherhood.

I remember feeling so frustrated and confused about being a new mom and how nobody EVER talked about any of the wacked out things that go on with you horomones, how you have absolutely no interest in things you used to including reading, going out and um... having sex? TMI I know BUT IT'S TRUE!

You are not the only one that has to adjust, your husband does too. And boy does having a kid change your marriage.

Anyway, all I'm saying is it took me nine or ten months after I had a baby to realize that people don't want to seem ungrateful of like they're not "blessed" so they dont dare talk about the time they wondered to themselves if they would be better off without thier baby (and then quickly come to the realization that they wouldn't), but hey they still thought it, or worse.

Hang in there and prep yourself for the winter, that's when it really gets rough.

I know we never really hung out when you lived close but if you ever want to let me know!

Brandi said...

I love this post! Every mom feels this way sometimes. Do you care if I copy this post and put it up on my baby-specialist web site? I think it is a great post for moms to read and not feel like they are the only ones that go through this "post pregnancy bliss".

Luvers said...

Hey Kitty,

At some point or another we do go through the same things, and it's all part of the hormone craziness, but the good thing to remember is that with every struggle you go through and you make it trough it only makes you stronger, Heavenly Father has a way of always making us learn one way or another, I went through all of that too and guess what now I'm pregnant again(What am I thinking??? right?)
Anyway but I know it gets better. Even though we are thousand miles away if you ever want to vent, talk about mommy stuff or whatever, I'm here, I really am. I feel like even though we haven't talked in a million years we did share some part of our lives together and we should still be able to talk and be good friends! Hope you can feel better and be grateful for these CRAZY times.

Rachael said...

Thanks for sharing Kristen! It's good to know what to expect and what some (if not all) go through. Thanks for coming to my shower! It was really good to see you and chat. Carson is so cute and I love the gift you gave me. Again, thank you so much! And I am serious... when I am feeling ok after the baby is here, we will need to get together. :)

Jamie said...

i'm glad you feel like you have girlfriends you can talk to. that is really what saved me, having other moms to talk to. it only gets better, i promise. i know that isn't much comfort now, but seriously it does. hang in there girlie!

Lindsey Walker said...

I love that you are so honest!! Thanks for your posts. This is how I felt after getting married, and I am still going through the shock waves of marriage even after 5 years. And I feel like no one feels this way about marriage, and there are no hormones involved! It was really hard on me. Hopefully I will transition well when a baby comes along. You are awesome, hang in there!

Chad and Lacy Johnson said...

Well Kristen, I guess I will know soon enough... but I've heard so many moms say the same things... I'm just glad you'll be there to talk to and I'm always here for ya, although I may not be able to sympathize quite as much (yet)!

Jewls said...

What's crazy is that people always say things to me like, "At least you don't have to deal with the stretch marks or the hormones..." I assure you, the emotional affects of infertility are a roller coaster too. Although I probably will never experience child birth, many of the attachment and post-birth issues are the same...I figure one of the great things about blog is that they're great for venting sometimes....so vent away sister, hopefully it will get easier as Carson gets older! You are a sweet mama and he is a little stud!

Ashley King said...
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Ashley King said...

Yup, yup...I totally agree. I'm just coming up on 3 weeks with my little one & sometimes it feels like I've been doing the "newborn thing" for months! Things can be really tough, but then I just try to remember that someday I'll miss these days. But I agree that pretty much everyone goes through some baby blues, everything just isn't what you expected it to be. Some stuff is better though. :) But anyway let's go to lunch soon!